The Official LOLservatives Thread.

Hah thats a great picture, but calling Ron Paul a Realist is a biiiiiiiiiiit of a stretch.

Oh the irony of the blacks in the background, considering his opposition to the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

> Keeps bringing up Civil Rights Act
> Doesn't care that Obama and Romney support NDAA

Actually I do, hence why I'm not voting for either of them in 2012.

The most consistent civil libertarian in the race is Gary Johnson, and I'm not even a fellater of him like you are of Ron Paul.

Oh that's right I forgot you live in a fantasy land where the libertarian party is a viable group backed by the MSM.

Oh that's right I forgot you live in a fantasy land where Ron Paul is a civil libertarian.

You just can't accept the fact that your US of A will always be a two-party system. That's just how your shitty country works.

Jimmies have been rustled.

This photo makes me sick to my stomach. We have been to the Wall many times, always around Memorial Day. The heaviness of the hearts of the people is almost palpable. To cheapen the day, and the Wall, this way is indescribable. Shame on the WH photographer, terrible shame upon him.

Wait, you don't even live here?

http://community.nasdaq.com/News/20...e-market-outperforms-by-9.aspx?storyid=145590

You realize this thread is for making fun of the Republicans linked to or quoted, right?

http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Govern...-Obama-Attend-Bill-Ayers-Barbecue-July-4-2005

THE VETTING

run 'em out of the service they obviously don't respect or appreciate the military and the military codes...there's no reason why a breast feeding mom can't have a little discretion when feeding...it's one more liberal attempt to change America to the United Socialist States of America. If you love Europe so much go! Oh and leave your uniforms here.

Bush's and Obama's accomplishment. READ AND DECIDE FOR YOURSELF.
BUSH:
Got us out of the Clinton Recession.
Lead the Country after 9/11 and prevented any further attacks against the USA.
Removed from power two of the most despotic regimes in the history of the world.
Won the war in Iraq.
Initiated an effective program to combat extremist muslims.
Under Bush, US manufacturing reached an all time peak.
Under Bush individual income reached an all time high.
Under Bush GDP reached an all time high.
Under Bush unemployment fell to statistically zero.
Under Bush, schools were held accountable for the 1st time for their failures.

His failures?
His efforts to reform social secrutiy were blocked.
His efforts to reform the subprime mortgage market was blocked.
Caved into Dumocrats to increase spending on wasteful social programs.

OBAMA:
-- HIGHEST number of unemployed Americans IN HISTORY.
-- HIGHEST number at the poverty level in American HISTORY.
-- HIGHEST budget deficits IN HISTORY of the World.
-- HIGHEST national debt IN HISTORY of the World.
-- HIGHEST rate of increase of national debt IN HISTORY of the World.
-- WORST recession in 70 years.
-- WORST housing market in 70 years.
-- WORST job market for African Americans IN HISTORY.
-- Most divisive political climate in 150 years.
-- Unprecedented Chicago thug-like bullying and threats against the Judicial Branch.
-- Most arrogant, snobbish Marie-Antoinette-style First Family IN HISTORY..
Congrats Mr. Obama... you really did "fundamentally transform" the U.S.... toward becoming one of those Third World cesspools that formed your character as you grew up.

wut

oh wow i didn't even see that the first time

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-says-Obama-makes-kids-gay-YouTube-video.html



I'm wondering if he's just lashing out because of his terribly unfortunate name for which he prolly gets bullied a lot (which I assume is gonna get a lot worse now that this is going viral).

All this time I thought I had a preference for paper bags as my way of flipping off the environmental elites. Killing trees so I can place my groceries in my Hemi powered gas hog and head home. Now they tell me that plastic is bad (I thought it was all wonderful and recyclable) and paper is good (I thought we went to plastic to save trees) so I have quite the quandary. I guess I will have to start carrying my groceries out in fresh animal pelts.

I hope that kid gets rammed in the ass by homosexuals.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2893483/posts

The problem wasn’t helping people get homes. The problem was government FORCING banks to loan money to people who shouldn’t have had one in the first place, BASED ON RACE, not credit!

Hardly see how a local water official is newsworthy, but hats off to the neighbor for calling hm out on it (and calling him a fuckstick ).

not even watching the vid, just gonna lol at the screencap.

lol carrie underwood. inb4 shitstorm

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2890136/posts

Come on, posting freerepublic shouldn't even count... might as well just start linking to stormfront articles.

TSA's a self-limiting problem. We just haven't seen the impetus for change yet. Americans dig simple measures, and this is an easy one. Currently terrorists are pretty high on the "things that scare Americans" list. As soon as somebody gets video of some TSA goon getting his jollies groping some hot-ass 13 year old, that'll change in a big hurry. Dateline NBC or some other news-entertainment program will combine airport security with stranger-danger paranoia, and nobody will give a damn about terrorists hijacking planes anymore.

We already know they single out hot chicks for extra scrutiny (hard to fault them, really), and we also know that they did a shit job of screening their screeners. The incidents that'll ruin their party are already happening. They just haven't been caught yet.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/...ndidate-fred-karger-gets-rough-205847849.html

conseritave

Do you know you cant procreate right?

you have got to be fucking kidding me

lolmormons

We have always known the “Lord of the Flies” truth of human nature and the need of civilizing since the Ancient Greeks. To teach Virtue was the only reason for education stated Plato and Aristotle. Without Virtue there can be no civilization—and no freedom.

Now, the Cultural Marxists and Socialists like John Dewey intentionally targeted children and “education”-—to destroy Virtue (God) (John Dewey and the Decline of American Education: How the Patron Saint of Schools has Corrupted Teaching and Learning” by Henry T. Edmondson III.

Dewey-—whose ideology was idolized and used in Soviet Russia—designed a system to throw US education upside down-—to destroy knowledge and history and the concept of God. We were Founded with the ideology that our Natural Rights came from God.

As Ben Franklin stated—”History teaches “morality, by descanting and making continual observations on the causes of the rise or fall of any man’s character, fortune, power, etc. mentioned in history; the advantages of temperance, order, frugality, industry, perseverance, etc. etc.”

When the Marxists yelled-—”Hey Ho! Western Civ has got to Go!” they meant Virtue and Morality that was noted since the Ancient Greeks and all the Classics-—because unlike postmodern literature—it taught moral lessons as believed by the Founders to be necessary for a free Republic.

Sex Education (and teaching that “feelings trump reason”) is the easiest way to destroy morality in children. That is their MO-—along with destroying the Canon of Classical Literature and replacing it with garbage-—to fill the children with cr8p ideas and make them “useful idiots’ such as the above non-thinking children-—unable to know Good and Evil-—because they are taught that whatever they do is good (self-esteem) if they feel good doing it. Of course, they “feel” powerful while doing this.

Yep....and the Cultural Marxists like Lukacs wrote up a method to infiltrate U.S. education and the resulting “Sex Education” in the 70’s come directly from him.

It took a few decades until there was a Department of Education—before they could force this cr*p in all public schools. They had pilot schools where they put this filth and it led always to destruction of morality and virtue in the children exposed to those “ideas”.

Keynes was a sodomite who used to have homosexual orgies which included little boys whom he gleefully passed around. These sick perverted, evil people are responsible for the curricula (Billy Ayers) which is rotting the minds of the next generation.

Sex Education needs OUT of our public schools NOW-—So does DOE. I would NEVER allow my children to set foot in public schools today or watch TV. Never-—until they clean the Deweyan sick Fabian Socialism/Marxism OUT of the curricula. That means burning all the psychology-laced (Skinner/Wundt) curricula used to destroy logic and knowledge and seduce our children into Satanism and Godlessness.

The only reason I'm not a zombie conservative like that kid is because I went to college and learned how to think. Thank Jesus Christ for universities.

I was a conservative in college, just to be a contrarian lol.

Then I discovered drugs and alcohol.

ladith andth gentlementh welcometh toth Juniorth factorth nationth

Makes sense that 14-year old boys can relate to the GOP.

I like that kid. He's clearly very intelligent and comes off as pretty likeable. I wouldn't put that post in the lolservatives thread, I'd put it in the thread which is way down on page over 9000 about conservatives we find respectable.

How come conservatives like him can't be the ones that join this forum?

lol.

Well, I live in Texas and I don’t have to worry about that. We are probably the second most Conservative State in the nation, behind Oklahoma. But, I’d love to see some Black Panthers or radical gays or ultra libs try to harass and intimidate me and/or my wife at the polling place. I’ve got so much pent up anger in me towards the radical Left-wing; I’d love to pop a cap in someone’s ass. I’m at the age to where no one is gonna rape me in prison. It would be worth doing the time.

Not even close. We'd barely crack the top twenty. While Texans do (now) tend to vote Republican in national elections, there are plenty of democrats hanging around, and most Texans would find the narrow-minded social conservatism in places like Kansas and Pennsylvania highly repugnant. I think there's a pretty big grass-roots effort to move us to the right, but there are too many blacks, Mexicans and democrats for it to really happen.

Dear President Obama,

I want to commend you for calling up Ms. Fluke and trying to comfort her after those of your ilk so successfully and publicly fluked her without the benefit of protection, let alone paying for it, you sir are an officer and a gentleman, and that Mrs. Pelosi is a real lady for putting a person of her gender in such a compromising position. All of you should be proud of yourselves for prostituting this young woman for political purposes. I’m not perfect, and will never make any aires about that. But I will never make another citizen pay for my stupidity. If I fluke up. That’s on me. It’s my problem.

You see; what has gone on for too long is making common everyday responsibilities of individuals the prevue of the government. As a father and a husband I have some basic jobs. Shelter. Food on the table. Hold down a job. Be a good father by raising my children to not behave like Ms. Fluke, but if they do to be there for them come h*ll or high water. My old man taught me by experience that your child is your responsibility even if in their opinion you are a moron. In Ms. Flukes case she made some voluntary decisions, she decided to fluk with what ever “Tom, Dick, or Harry” she found attractive. Cool. Been there done that. Got the T-Shirt and the love letters from the chicks. One ought not kiss and tell though, when did that go out of style? Then she voluntarily decided to make a spectacle of her fornicating, while advocating every citizen pay for it. Ok.

I’ve read that EBT cards are accepted at strip clubs now. So if we are paying for lap dances and beer,; why not pay for Ms. Flukes fluking?

I’ll tell you why. Because if trillions in debt, and trillions in deficit, plus a decades long war for one side of the same muslim/arab coin is not enough for a society to deal with what is necessary in some right and proper way. Then let’s all fluke our brains out. In fact tomorrow I’m going to apply for food stamps get my EBT card and go hit my favorite strip club and make a video and post it on youtube! And with free abortion we don’t even need the protection any more! Bad humor aside. What about all the veterans, what about all the people, who legitimately need our tax dollars? What about the mentally disabled guy that died because his 86 year old father died after spending his whole life taking care of him? He died of starvation because his father died in the apartment with him. I guess social services dropped the ball on that one! You see liberals don’t understand something. We don’t care who you fluke. How you fluke. When you fluke or with what hand. Whether or not your alone fluking with your iphone on vibrate. Have at it. But in the end, after the fluking is over. You better have enjoyed it. Because some poor bXXXXXd has paid for with an eye, a leg, or his life.

http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sidesho...-debunk-evolution-state-funded-190816504.html

oh my lol

ha ha, oh man!

Don’t like drone strikes? Get rid of your terrorists. Otherwise, we intend to defeat the terrorist networks that declared war on the US and succeeded in murdering nearly 3,000 Americans on 9/11.