Official 5/8 Singles Club v. Tech accidentally discovers one of the laws of shemale attraction

or you cud chew the shit

I guess

What's the worse that might happen? You getting friendzone'd? She getting a restraining order against you? See, none of the options are too bad, so chill.

Is she white

is she white

why sadly?

white chicks suck, yo

Oh come on, I set you up there and that's the best you could do?

oh my, mathy is growing up

bitter soul-crushing comment
itsatrapackbar.gif

Ah yes, the classic overthinking phase.

Can I just suck your dick so you'll stop being a faggot?

Ah yes, the classic addiction to FLAPAPATEIC humor phase.

wtf is a FLAPAPATEIC

Are you just doing meta multiple-irony threshold-type humor on (k-)facebook like you do on 5/8? I see opportunities for that on (occidental-)facebook all the time but I thought it'd just make me look like a jerk!

EXAMPLES PLS

shit man you're gonna get all kinds of puss from that

haha ok mathboy but i asked you to show me examples of humor

haha, oh math

haha u remind me of this guy from reddit

Sounds like S definitely digs you. Also sounds like your chemistry with A would elicit at least low-level jealousy from S, which is fantastic.

how big are her tits

lol that reminds me of one summer my mom invited my cousin over for a pool party for my birthday. She brought a friend, Shawna. I immediately fell for her. She had auburn hair, hazel eyes and a beautiful smile. She was wearing a tiny bikini that showed off her perfect butt and her amazing tits. We stayed in the pool for most of the day and Shawna kept rubbing up against me. It was driving me absolutely crazy. I was so hard I felt like I was going to explode. With each "bump," she brushed my cock. I know she knew I had a hard on. After about an hour of this, I couldn't take it any more. Then next time she tried it, I grabbed her hand, smiled, and put it down my bathing suit. She retracted in horror. ****ing cocktease. I'd have none of this. I told my mom to go get us some snacks so we'd be alone. I pulled my shorts off, pushed Shawna under the water, and forced my rock hard member into her agape mouth. I knew she couldn't breathe. I just kept mouth****ing her. And then she bit my cock. I jump out of the water and pull her out with me. Blood is dripping from the end of my dick. ****ing bitch. I take her into the woods behind our house, throw her to the ground. I flip her over, rip off her bathing suit bottoms. She starts to scream. I smash her head in with a rock. And then I put my fist into her dead *******. Reaming this hot little ****'s ****hole was an awesome birthday present. I put my dick in her ass along with my hand. I jacked myself off in her ass. God, that was awesome. Her ******* ripped, but I figured she wasn't going to be using it for anything anymore so **** it. When I got done, I noticed that a crowd had formed. All the people from my party were standing around watching me anally violate this beautiful corpse. They just gathered around. Gather 'round the good stuff. Pizza Hut.

Speaking of diets my dad has a selective eating disorder and only eats pizza. Sometimes he'll eat a bagel for lunch but usually it's just a pizza at night. He used to eat Tony's frozen pizza and we collected so many of the points on their boxes. If I was an only child I would have got the Tony's jet ski but since I had two sisters we split all the points. We got some cool stuff like a Tony's directors chair. Now my dad mostly just makes his own pizza. Despite this he is pretty fuckin buff and tuff and takes vitamins. Plus he has grey hair but colors it because it would make him too awesome if people knew. He wears cool shades and in public he is very austere. In school when kids saw our dad pick us up they would ask if he worked for the FBI. At home though he's really crazy and funny and plays piano when my mom tries to argue with him.

what's copypasta

sounds racist

Met a pretty super cool girl one day and made out with her, then didn't pay for dinner and left, then found out she has a boyfriend. I lost my phone and her number. This all happened in a couple hours. Kind of think it worked out nicely tbh

but he was JOKES

i just realized again how emotionally unstable i am. i should probably talk to my psychologist about this

probably caused by your mom

...just like the erection i had last night!

it would be awesome to have a really pretty girl in my arms

how much of a deal (in a negative sense) is it that a prospect has prominent facets of their life (hobbies, activities, etc) that have absolutely nothing (nor in the foreseeable future) to do with any facet of mine? i'm a noob at this so i can't gauge properly.

common hobbies/activities get into gear as soon as your wits and charm run out. So it's not much of a deal as long as you keep up.

Or do what i am doing and get her into your hobbies.

i mean there's one big common interest at least, and some others that i could be game with. maybe i'm just being too scared/paranoid/self-convincing-otherwise about this and should actuallyjust do shit/see what happens.

man up math

yeah i know right

*sigh* (at self)

here's a song to myself

You should make this your theme song instead.

Fucking god tier sexy messages has claimed another woman. It's only a matter of time now. Only downside is it's been established that it's just friendship. Whatever works.

Get on my level, broheims.

wtf

lol