Female Facebook Statuses

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by falcon, Jan 14, 2011.

  1. Crypt Fiend :3 diVa iN dA mAkiNg <3

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2007
    Message Count:
    3,144
    Location:
    Melbourne
  2. moonmang Pinpoint deep out throw on the run.

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2000
    Message Count:
    26,543
    Location:
    Michigan
  3. lalakekela xoxo

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2011
    Message Count:
    1,994
    Location:
    Earth
    --my sociology teacher just said that as a sociologist they don't care which religion is right or wrong and they don't like to argue it...well teacher... JESUS IS THE WAY! (:
    Cheesus, CatsMilk, toothy and 14 others like this.
  4. Andres not fucking around

    Member Since:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Message Count:
    8,517
    Location:
    Denver, CO
  5. Talon mesopotato

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2005
    Message Count:
    27,267
    I like how girls post stupid things on Facebook and get 15 likes so we can post them here and get 15 likes.
  6. Gadough Junior Member

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Message Count:
    435
    Ima b a mommy 2 mrw


    [IMG]
    Grack and moonmang like this.
  7. bradar Perfect, and relevant

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2005
    Message Count:
    22,758
    Location:
    Brisbane, QLD, Australia
    strong ears
    shapeup and Gadough like this.
  8. TheProfessionale Spam Account

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    7,058
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    Jesus Christ
  9. Brooks jumpingduck.jpg

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2009
    Message Count:
    3,119
  10. DT89 Case of the Mondays

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2006
    Message Count:
    4,244
    Location:
    Southeastern PA
    Strong FFS.
    Grack likes this.
  11. Dignan expert

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Message Count:
    9,985
    IS NOT AS DUMB AS I MAKE OUT! REMEMBER THAT! ITS CALLED PSYCHOLOGY AND I'VE STUDIED LOADS OF IT..... just so you know!
  12. TheProfessionale Spam Account

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    7,058
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    Men may wear the pants in the relationship but the women certainly control the zipper
    Gadough, Talon, Zoyns and 1 other person like this.
  13. Zeroshift Uh oh, spaghettios

    Member Since:
    May 17, 2009
    Message Count:
    402
    Location:
    Toronto
    they also control the temperature of the stove
    Johnny Swift, Genomer, bradar and 3 others like this.
  14. Talon mesopotato

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2005
    Message Count:
    27,267
    holy shit
  15. Something Wicked Loverboy

    Member Since:
    Oct 27, 2008
    Message Count:
    9,693
    Yeah she has a really stupid way of making out.
    bradar likes this.
  16. Aäck each time u kill a kitten

    Member Since:
    Nov 7, 2006
    Message Count:
    6,430
    Location:
    Toe-kee-yo
    i cut my toe nails, and then i got hungry so i ate it.
    CatsMilk, bradar, The Neat and 2 others like this.
  17. Dignan expert

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Message Count:
    9,985
    the moar you know
  18. bradar Perfect, and relevant

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2005
    Message Count:
    22,758
    Location:
    Brisbane, QLD, Australia
    just decided no more shit kents stealing my heart i cant tale it nemore so shit kents piss off !!!!!!!
  19. Genomer Member

    Member Since:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Message Count:
    7,494
    She's also a bad speller and not very good at using motion blur.
    Dignan likes this.
  20. Crypt Fiend :3 diVa iN dA mAkiNg <3

    Member Since:
    May 15, 2007
    Message Count:
    3,144
    Location:
    Melbourne
    THIS IS MY MORNING I TAKE THE KIDS TO CRECHE COME BACK AND SEE A STRAY DOG RUNNING AROUND I TAKE HER TO THE POUND LUCKY SHE HAS A MICROCHIP , I COME BACK PULL IN THE DRIVEWAY AND THERE IS ANOTHER DOG IN MY DRIVEWAY IT SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME IT WAS A SCARY LOOKING DOG AND WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE CAR IT RAN AWAY, SO THIS IS WHY I WANT TO WORK WITH ANIMALS THEY ALWAYS SEEM TO FIND ME
    He-Beast, The Neat and bradar like this.
  21. lalakekela xoxo

    Member Since:
    Aug 31, 2011
    Message Count:
    1,994
    Location:
    Earth
    YELLING EVERYTHING
  22. TheProfessionale Spam Account

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    7,058
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    THIS IS MY STATUS I TAKE THE KIDS TO
  23. Dignan expert

    Member Since:
    Apr 27, 2007
    Message Count:
    9,985
  24. Harun idgaf

    Member Since:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Message Count:
    2,233
    Location:
    california
    I'm really starting to get annoyed with this construction!!!!!!!!!
  25. Kimberlyand oh, okay.

    Member Since:
    Jul 2, 2003
    Message Count:
    6,955
    Location:
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
  26. Talon mesopotato

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2005
    Message Count:
    27,267
    girl: how many moons does mars have
    boy: two
    girl: i already knew that, i just wanted to see if you knew :ohshit

    :yap
    CatsMilk, He-Beast, Gadough and 9 others like this.
  27. Zorbo what

    Member Since:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Message Count:
    26,323
    Location:
    Sunshine Coast, QLD, Australia
    now i just gotta get a woman to ask me what next week's lotto numbers are and i'm set
    Dignan likes this.
  28. Klem 5/8 Supporter

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Message Count:
    7,841
    She already knows that yes, she does look fat in those jeans.
    NikTh and Kimberlyand like this.
  29. Gadough Junior Member

    Member Since:
    Dec 15, 2011
    Message Count:
    435
    Ugh! I just want to live in my shiny, happy world where nasty creatures like roaches and mice don't exist!!!! Is that too much to ask?????
    wogbog likes this.
  30. davis You're stumbling a little

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Message Count:
    1,446
    oh my god.

    God bless EVERYONE. SUM STATUS R GETTIN TO ME. SUM GET ME WORRIED. BE STRONG ND HAVE FAITH. NO MATTER WAT U GOING THREW IT LIKE JDAWG SAYS IT CANT RAIN FOEVA.PEACE ~~~~~c&e

    Ive been broken but never shatterd i dont let life or hoes get the.best of me.i keep on pushin baby .


    º°Ïm Nôt å ßît¢h Ï äm THÈ ßïtçh âñÐ thàt§ Mî§§ ßït©h t ö ýøù §ô ýøù ßéttë® §åý ït with ä §mí£é!°
    NikTh and Talon like this.
  31. Enders Call Me Maybe

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2002
    Message Count:
    5,398
    :|:x
  32. Kahless doesn't get 5/8

    Member Since:
    Dec 24, 2008
    Message Count:
    5,107
    Location:
    Far above the golden valley
    If she actually typed all that using keyboard shortcuts I'd be pretty impressed.
  33. Zorbo what

    Member Since:
    Oct 10, 2005
    Message Count:
    26,323
    Location:
    Sunshine Coast, QLD, Australia
    i remember that as an msn messenger screenname in ~2003

    unfortunately
  34. Talon mesopotato

    Member Since:
    Oct 1, 2005
    Message Count:
    27,267
  35. Technetium a 12-year-old girl showing her tits on stickam

    Member Since:
    Sep 10, 2002
    Message Count:
    23,376
    Location:
    ARCO am/pm Mini-market
    A young man working in the
    army was constantly
    humiliated because he
    believed in God.
    One day the captain wanted
    to humiliate him before the
    troops.
    He called the young man and
    said:
    - Young man comes here, take
    the key and go and park the
    Jeep in front.
    the young man replied:
    - I can not drive!
    The captain said:
    - But then ask your assistance
    God! shows us that he exist!
    The young man takes the key
    and walked to the vehicle
    begins to pray ...He parks the
    jeep to the place PERFECTLY
    well as the captain wanted.
    The young man came out of
    the jeep and saw them all
    crying. They all said together:
    - We want to serve your God!
    The young soldier was
    astonished, asked what was
    going on?
    CAPTAIN crying opened the
    hood of the jeep by showing
    the young man that the car
    had no
    engine.
    Then the boy said:
    See? This is the God I serve,
    THE GOD OF IMPOSSIBLE,
    the God who gives life to what
    does not exist.
    You may think there are
    things still impossible
    WITH GOD EVERYTHING IS
    POSSIBLE ...
    Do not forget to click
    SHARE!
    Gadough, NikTh, bradar and 4 others like this.
  36. Zoyns Junior Member

    Member Since:
    Apr 7, 2011
    Message Count:
    826
    If the person parking the car PERFECTLY would've been a woman, THEN I could believe that this is THE GOD OF IMPOSSIBLE.
    TheProfessionale likes this.
  37. Francis I the singer from Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2007
    Message Count:
    20,408
    Location:
    the holy sea
    why doesn't he quit the army
  38. Spoonman motorik thugs are now

    Member Since:
    Jun 8, 2008
    Message Count:
    532
    By the way, that soldier was "EINSTEIN"
    CatsMilk, badaman, Gadough and 14 others like this.
  39. Infernal_Goose Junior Member

    Member Since:
    May 10, 2009
    Message Count:
    4,457
    Location:
    BJ
    Lol yes, because the US military is so anti-religion.
    Talon, Gadough, NikTh and 5 others like this.
  40. toothy Forever Gold

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Message Count:
    14,694
    Location:
    These Villages
    [IMG]

    YEAH YOU ASSFUCK
  41. Damien Slade Pee in my mouth

    Member Since:
    Jul 14, 2007
    Message Count:
    2,899
    christians: 1
    atheists: 0
    Jamesman likes this.
  42. Kahless doesn't get 5/8

    Member Since:
    Dec 24, 2008
    Message Count:
    5,107
    Location:
    Far above the golden valley
    But this was clearly written by an Asian.
  43. Elii :3

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2006
    Message Count:
    6,752
    Location:
    Morganville, NJ
  44. unklejman Ships, Coffins, Death Ins., Timeshares, & Counsel

    Member Since:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Message Count:
    4,051
    Location:
    Gulf Coast
    I guess this is the thread for this:

    [IMG]
    The Neat, toothy and Talon like this.
  45. Overtone .

    Member Since:
    Apr 10, 2001
    Message Count:
    21,634
    Location:
    The Universe
    Dear God. The funniest part was "I flipped them all off with my middle finger." And I am sure these people all believe they are not even a little bit racist.
    Saber likes this.
  46. TheProfessionale Spam Account

    Member Since:
    Mar 9, 2007
    Message Count:
    7,058
    Location:
    Milwaukee, WI
    these people
    unklejman likes this.
  47. 2005 mofo Moderator?

    Member Since:
    Nov 22, 2009
    Message Count:
    4,214
    I would have punched his ass in the throat!
  48. toothy Forever Gold

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Message Count:
    14,694
    Location:
    These Villages
    ... AND THAT PISSED ME OFF.
  49. Sekans_Aval Junior Member

    Member Since:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Message Count:
    2,239
    Location:
    Dallas, TX
    It's like the closer you get, the farther the finish line is. Once you get close to it, it moves away again. Will it ever end?
  50. Infernal_Goose Junior Member

    Member Since:
    May 10, 2009
    Message Count:
    4,457
    Location:
    BJ
    :( *hugs* it's ok I'm always here for you :) xoxox