Daily Mail Appreciation Thread

ogrejedi · Aug 2, 2010

I'm not British, but I love the Daily Mail. It's like something out of 1920s America. ITT post the most ridiculous Daily Mail stories/headlines.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...dicted-skunk-cannabis-killed-best-friend.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...skunk-accounts-75-cent-cannabis-seizures.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-446318/Boy-skunk-cannabis-butchered-grandmother.html

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-470361/Son-twisted-skunk-knifed-father-23-times.html

Dignan · Aug 2, 2010

This newspaper and others like it are responsible for so much of what is wrong with our country. It can be funny as hell, but I don't know if I can appreciate it.

Disappear · Aug 2, 2010

Skunk? Gotta love some moral panic.

Dignan · Aug 2, 2010

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ve-paedophile-suspect-run-skipping-court.html

A 'radioactive' suspected paedophile has gone on the run after failing to show at court for child pornography offences.

Doctors believe Leopold's radioactivity level could be dangerous for up to six weeks after he was treated with what is thought to be iodine on February 3.

Disappear · Aug 2, 2010

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...-high-heel-boyfriends-eye-brain-argument.html

Daily Mail is like New York Post with even less tact.

mattbrat · Aug 2, 2010

Dignan;2381696 said:

This newspaper and others like it are responsible for so much of what is wrong with our country. It can be funny as hell, but I don't know if I can appreciate it.

Basically my thoughts before I even opened the thread. Some of it is gold, but only in a facepalming kind of way. The worst thing about it is that unlike the tabloid bullshit, it pretends to be somehow more serious, intelligent, and valid, while still being just as retarded below the surface. I honestly cringe when I see/hear about people I know reading it and taking it seriously.

Grindstone · Aug 2, 2010

u mad?

ogrejedi · Aug 2, 2010

Guys, this thread was meant ironically. Post more hilarious Daily Mail stories.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1264139/Man-blasts-head-shotgun-meow-meow-party.html

mattbrat · Aug 2, 2010

Yeh I got that

All I meant was I feel bad associating it with any kind of positivity, ironic or not.

mattbrat · Aug 2, 2010

Fuck, quoting this at the end of the article when the entire article is the perfect embodiment of the media pressure it mentions.

Eric Carlin, another member of the ACMD, also resigned after the announcement that mephedrone would be made illegal, saying that the decision by the Home Secretary was 'unduly based on media and political pressure'.

mattbrat · Aug 2, 2010

This was always a favourite of mine: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbi...a-twisted-cynical-revels-abuse-childhood.html

Disappear · Aug 2, 2010

That's not a review, that's a rant. For someone who writes for a tabloid he is way too uptight.

Dignan · Aug 4, 2010

Incredible:
http://kill-or-cure.heroku.com/a-z/a

mattbrat · Aug 4, 2010

Dignan;2384183 said:

Incredible:
http://kill-or-cure.heroku.com/a-z/a

Holy shit @ both of these

Dignan · Aug 5, 2010

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...mash-grab-raid-disabled-mans-Range-Rover.html

lol

Karan · Aug 5, 2010

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI"]YouTube- ?The Daily Mail Song?&lrm;[/ame]

Dignan · Aug 6, 2010

haha shit
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...rtraying-destroyed-dementia-guilt-record.html

The thread running through the film is that the price of power has been so high for Lady Thatcher that she is seeing out her days in a state of anxiety rather than peace, scarred by her time as Prime Minister.
Any sense of triumph in her career, or the historic greatness of her achievements, is absent from the script. In one scene she is shown tearfully wondering whether it was really necessary to sink the Argentine ship the General Belgrano, killing 323 men, as it purportedly retreated during the 1982 Falklands conflict.
In another, she dwells on her early economic policies, consumed with concerns that they may have caused considerable hardship to millions of Britons and weighing up hackneyed Left-wing arguments that her decisions did more harm than good.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...oyed-dementia-guilt-record.html#ixzz0vsnULOtJ

ogrejedi · Dec 22, 2010

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1340776/Who-ate-nuts-Squirrel-munchkin-Christmas-treats.html

cheddar · Dec 22, 2010

Rick · Dec 22, 2010

Last year, the Daily Fail covered a story that is centered around exactly where I live: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...eft-die-agony-Who-responsible-wickedness.html

It's a fucking terrible paper. I still browse it for lols though - I disagree with most views that get expressed in it, but I like to see how other people think.

XJDenton · Dec 22, 2010

The only redeeming feature the Fail has is that it isn't The Sun.

Dignan · Dec 22, 2010

They're both fucking brilliant, although I prefer the mail

Dignan · Jan 16, 2011

Has to be a troll article

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...-posh-people-30-From-catwalk-Westminster.html

Let’s face it, they’re posh and they’re proud of it. Very proud of it. No longer embarrassed by being called chinless wonders, Sloane Rangers or Hooray Henrys, the posh have crawled out from under their four-poster beds and reclaimed what they consider to be their rightful place at the head of things.
Even though they have to share some of their spoils with those who a generation ago they would have considered ‘beneath’ them, the sons and daughters of privilege are more in evidence now than they have been for 30 years.
Only a few years ago, the post-war liberation of the working and middle classes seemed so all-encompassing that the posh felt it best to disguise their origins.
Vowels were flattened, education disguised, parents disowned. Now, things have changed. The privately educated scions of the great and the good no longer feel that everyone is against them (well .??.??. not everyone). What is more, they are happy to proclaim their status and to exploit it.

Look around you. So many fields of public life are now dominated by those with, at the very least, a
private education, in many cases wealth and in a few instances a title. In the arts, sport, television, fashion, music, nightlife and, of course, politics. It’s positively Brideshead Revisited Revisited. With knobs on. So to speak.
But the wealthy are different now. There has been a huge shift in the social hierarchy compared with even 20 years ago. Yes, there is a raft of young blue-bloods moving into positions of power and influence.
But many more of the privately educated ‘posh’ are the sons and daughters of new money, a groundswell of Thatcherite offspring. There has also been a steady merger of the aristocratic and the bourgeois circles – as is illustrated perfectly by the Royal marriage.
And no one cares. The advancement of new money is no longer seen as a threat by the upper classes. While the toffs will always harbour an innate snobbishness, there is an inevitability about social mobility.
How could there not be when we live in a society peppered with country house oligarchs, lottery winners and millionaire footballers?
It is perhaps this (admittedly isolated) fiscal emancipation that has made the great unwashed, the media and the political elite less fidgety about the upper classes.
Ten years ago, the idea of titled twentysomethings colonising various sectors of public life would have appalled the great and good. Under New Labour, good breeding and private education were anathema to their idea of what Britain should be and who should wield power.
New Labour was all about celebrating the glottal stop and the downwardly mobile street smarts of Britpop. If there was a bogeyman during these times he was always posh, always Tim Nice-But-Dim.
And in their finite wisdom, New Labour not only penalised the upper classes, they tried to demonise them too – highlighted by their futile attempts to ban foxhunting, not understanding that country pursuits benefit every social class.
New Labour attempted to be democratic to the point of madness, throwing out ambition as well as elitism.
Perhaps it’s not so surprising that a largely Conservative government should foster a culture of privilege. However, all they’ve done is refuse to make class an issue.
When David Cameron became the leader of his party, the Press hounded him about his blue-blooded ancestry, sketching him as a foppish toff with no sense of what ordinary people have to deal with in life.
To compound this, Cameron went out of his way to downplay his upbringing in a way that only encouraged his self-inflicted ‘heir to Blair’ pronouncements.
Far from it, being posh (even if being posh isn’t what it once was) is now more socially acceptable than it has been since the early Eighties, when Princess Diana forged a bond with both media and public alike.
William and ‘Waity’ Kate’s wedding – complete with buffet, disco and almost certainly some form of karaoke – will probably turn out to be as socially and as culturally influential as Charles and Diana’s.
It will surely cause the nation’s collective heartstrings to tighten a little. But its fundamentally egalitarian nature shows that the New Money is now closer to the Old Money than ever before. Maybe William and Kate’s wedding is actually the revenge of New Labour.
After all, our future Queen is New Posh and proud of it. Received pronunciation or no received pronunciation.

Dignan · Jan 16, 2011

Has to be a troll article

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...-posh-people-30-From-catwalk-Westminster.html

Let’s face it, they’re posh and they’re proud of it. Very proud of it. No longer embarrassed by being called chinless wonders, Sloane Rangers or Hooray Henrys, the posh have crawled out from under their four-poster beds and reclaimed what they consider to be their rightful place at the head of things.

Even though they have to share some of their spoils with those who a generation ago they would have considered ‘beneath’ them, the sons and daughters of privilege are more in evidence now than they have been for 30 years.
Only a few years ago, the post-war liberation of the working and middle classes seemed so all-encompassing that the posh felt it best to disguise their origins.

Vowels were flattened, education disguised, parents disowned. Now, things have changed. The privately educated scions of the great and the good no longer feel that everyone is against them (well .??.??. not everyone). What is more, they are happy to proclaim their status and to exploit it.

Look around you. So many fields of public life are now dominated by those with, at the very least, a private education, in many cases wealth and in a few instances a title. In the arts, sport, television, fashion, music, nightlife and, of course, politics. It’s positively Brideshead Revisited Revisited. With knobs on. So to speak.

But the wealthy are different now. There has been a huge shift in the social hierarchy compared with even 20 years ago. Yes, there is a raft of young blue-bloods moving into positions of power and influence. But many more of the privately educated ‘posh’ are the sons and daughters of new money, a groundswell of Thatcherite offspring. There has also been a steady merger of the aristocratic and the bourgeois circles – as is illustrated perfectly by the Royal marriage. And no one cares. The advancement of new money is no longer seen as a threat by the upper classes. While the toffs will always harbour an innate snobbishness, there is an inevitability about social mobility.

How could there not be when we live in a society peppered with country house oligarchs, lottery winners and millionaire footballers? It is perhaps this (admittedly isolated) fiscal emancipation that has made the great unwashed, the media and the political elite less fidgety about the upper classes. Ten years ago, the idea of titled twentysomethings colonising various sectors of public life would have appalled the great and good. Under New Labour, good breeding and private education were anathema to their idea of what Britain should be and who should wield power.

New Labour was all about celebrating the glottal stop and the downwardly mobile street smarts of Britpop. If there was a bogeyman during these times he was always posh, always Tim Nice-But-Dim. And in their finite wisdom, New Labour not only penalised the upper classes, they tried to demonise them too – highlighted by their futile attempts to ban foxhunting, not understanding that country pursuits benefit every social class. New Labour attempted to be democratic to the point of madness, throwing out ambition as well as elitism. Perhaps it’s not so surprising that a largely Conservative government should foster a culture of privilege. However, all they’ve done is refuse to make class an issue.

When David Cameron became the leader of his party, the Press hounded him about his blue-blooded ancestry, sketching him as a foppish toff with no sense of what ordinary people have to deal with in life. To compound this, Cameron went out of his way to downplay his upbringing in a way that only encouraged his self-inflicted ‘heir to Blair’ pronouncements. Far from it, being posh (even if being posh isn’t what it once was) is now more socially acceptable than it has been since the early Eighties, when Princess Diana forged a bond with both media and public alike. William and ‘Waity’ Kate’s wedding – complete with buffet, disco and almost certainly some form of karaoke – will probably turn out to be as socially and as culturally influential as Charles and Diana’s.

It will surely cause the nation’s collective heartstrings to tighten a little. But its fundamentally egalitarian nature shows that the New Money is now closer to the Old Money than ever before. Maybe William and Kate’s wedding is actually the revenge of New Labour. After all, our future Queen is New Posh and proud of it. Received pronunciation or no received pronunciation.

mattbrat · Jan 16, 2011

lolpocrisy:

http://primlystable.blogspot.com/2011/01/mail-give-children-vaccine-that-we-said.html

mattbrat · Jan 31, 2011

Ok it was published in the 50s, but I saw this in a cracked article and it made me lol everywhere on occasion:

The Daily Mail said:

"[Rock music] is deplorable. It is tribal. And it is from America. It follows ragtime, blues, jazz, hot cha-cha and the boogie-woogie, which surely originated in the jungle. We sometimes wonder whether this is the negro's revenge."

Molon_UK · Jan 31, 2011

Was literally just about to post that.

King Prawn · Jan 31, 2011

Oh my days...

Dignan · Jul 1, 2011

Girl, 13, crushed to death by a falling branch as she sat on park bench because her teachers were out on strike

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...d-13-killed-falling-branch-school-closed.html

Molon_UK · Jul 1, 2011

Fuck my life...

King Prawn · Jul 1, 2011

YES

Acharjay · Jul 1, 2011

evil, pretentious teaching scum! how dare they put that girl in danger!!

DOGSHIT · Jul 14, 2011

An oldie, but one of my favourites: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...s-Mr-Blobby-theme-park-ravers-trash-site.html

'The ravers should have more respect for Mr Blobby. He was a hero to a lot of kids and the thought of them taking drugs and having all-night raves in his house is completely disrespectful.'

Disappear · Jul 14, 2011

i lov3 their headlines:

Owner of killer bear found chained to his bed in leather mask after 'choking to death on sex toy'

Dignan · Jul 18, 2011

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...sive-wind-farm-CAN-built-D-Day-coastline.html

'Attack on memory of Allied troops': Sarkozy under fire after approving massive wind farm off D-Day beaches

Premier says yes to plans just seven miles off Normandy coast

Asteroid · Jul 20, 2011

lol

Dignan · Jul 31, 2011

He's a granddad at 29, she's a granny at 30, dad is waiting for GCSE results and mum isn't yet 15: Meet the baby with Britain's youngest grandparents

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ents-Mum-14-dad-15-granny-30-granddad-29.html

King Prawn · Jul 31, 2011

England.

Disappear · Jul 31, 2011

she was a wallflower at 15, she'll be a wallflower at thirty-four.

Dignan · Sep 2, 2011

Travellers plan to use their children as human shields... cynical tactic revealed as 'foreign legion' gathers at illegal site

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...aled-foreign-legion-gathers-illegal-site.html

Molon_UK · Sep 2, 2011

Utterly brilliant. I wish I could write for the Daily Mail but I don't think my satire is that good.

Disappear · Sep 14, 2011

Sarah Palin snorted cocaine off 55 gallon oil drum and had affairs with NBA star and husband's business partner: Sensational claims in new book

/

Dignan · Sep 24, 2011

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ettisoned-politically-correct-Common-Era.html

mattbrat · Sep 26, 2011

oh fuck off

mattbrat · Sep 26, 2011

lol http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/reality-check-with-polly-curtis/2011/sep/26/1

Dignan · Sep 26, 2011

Must've been a slow news day

Dignan · Nov 9, 2011

Burly rugby player has a stroke after freak gym accident… wakes up gay and becomes a hairdresser

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...hris-Birch-stroke-gym-accident-wakes-gay.html

Saber · Nov 9, 2011

Aäck · Nov 9, 2011

THAT is the FUNNIEST headline I have EVER read! LOL

King Prawn · Nov 9, 2011

A classic right here.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-566481/Why-child-safe-sinister-cult-emo.html

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Daily Mail Appreciation Thread

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