5/8 Singles Club v. irgins

2nd

urchins!

3rd

EDIT: FUCK

Bitch.

0<

lol @ singles

lol @ me

I have a GF, but I might as well be single

How does that work?

Cognacad does not currently have any friends.

I've got to stop falling for every girl who shows me the slightest bit of attention, srsly.

This one girl slyly asked me out last year and I ended up sabotaging it by freaking out and in the end it was probably the fact that I came on too strong that ruined it. I gave her a garfield minus garfield book earlier this year for her birthday, and she hasn't spoken to me since. It's really awkward when we see eachother now.

Another girl who seems terrified of me and is probably the cutest thing i've ever seen came out of her shy little shell recently and we talked for hours while waiting for a class that we both knew was cancelled. She introduced me to the Dear Hunter, I showed her some of my band's stuff which she loved. I couldn't bear to ask her out and put her on the spot though, I really don't know that she's that interested. She's so far out of my league it's not funny.

And yet another girl has been sort of flirting with me for ages but I can't really tell, I think she acts that way to everyone. She convinced me to do a study night with her this week. I just want to be friends with this chick but she's also really hot.

It just comes down to the fact that I feel incapable of treating women as friends, even when I really want to and my need for friendship outweighs my need for secks.

Just venting anyway.

DOES NOT COMPUTE

That sounds like me.

Girls are great as friends though

I don't know. I just tried typing out some sort of explanation and it made absolutely no sense.

Put it this way: I've never had any sort of relationship and I still don't feel remotely ready or capable of being intimate with someone even if I wanted to. It would be too weird.
I just want to get over the stupid things that are holding me back from talking to women and treating them as freinds so I can turn my attention to other things and not dwell on it so much all the time.

gaz you sound so much like me
will you marry me

Why would it be weird? It's awesome, not weird.

Saying things like that doesn't help at all, Cat. Just saying, I know how gaz feels.

Play her a bebot solo and win her over.

It would be wierd because i'm just not in the right frame of mind. I wouldn't know what to do, I have no self-esteem or any sort of confidence left. I know girls don't like that. I can try to change but in the end i'm just pretending. It's silly.

Screenname: Mathboy

Let's revisit this in a few years. I might get desperate

I'm pretty much back into my not caring about bitches singles stage again. It's a good place.

This is where i'd like to be I think, but i've been pursuing it for awhile and i'm not sure it's a state of mind that exists for me, unless I consider castration.

edit: happy 100

Not sure if castration would cure the longing part, or just make it utterly worse.

edit: 20,000 posts, and the 20,000th is in the Singles Thread. How fucking fitting

See the links I posted in the last thread.

I think the ladder theory in the dude's department is bullshit. I definitely have 2 ladders. Then again, I don't buy into the whole stereotype male crap, so whatever.

someone give me cliffs on the ladder theory. is it some PUA bullshit?

The very basic version is that girls have two ladders: guys that they want to fuck, and guys they want to be friends with. It's hard to jump between the two, and sometimes people mistake being high up on the friends ladder with being somewhere on the sex ladder. And apparently guys just have a ladder for girls they want to have sex with. Which I disagree with.

That's it in a nutshell. All it does is explain the whole friends/more than friends thing. Which, in the end.. why on earth do people care enough to come up with complex theories about this stuff? If you can't tell whether a girl wants to fuck you or not, then.. I don't know. Reading about it isn't going to help, in my opinion.

well I only told him to read it to tell him that it's going to be pretty much impossible for him to try to be just friends with her.

I also disagree with that, personally. There are a number of girls who I am good friends with who I would fuck in a heartbeat, but it doesn't stop us being good friends, it just means that I can enjoy the company of a really attractive girl It's just a matter of having realistic expectations of what the relationship between you two consists of, and accepting things for what they are, rather than thinking "I want to sleep with her and therefore I can't accept that she doesn't want to sleep with me so we can't be friends." That's weak and lame and totally gay.

I also think having such a black and white distinction is unhelpful: nothing about human interraction is black and white, and the same goes for feelings and emotions in general.

Maybe I just want another ladder?
Ladder theory is hilarious but not really true, at least to me - I don't feel like it applies directly to how i'm feeling right now. It's definitely not a conscious thing for girls I don't think anyway. But speculating about how the female brain works is a bit of a futile act for me.

Cat, you're dead on. I know i've ruined potential friendships before with that weak excuse.
It's about approaching it in a mature way and yes, having realistic expectations. Unfortunately, in my heart and mind i'm still incredibly immature and unrealistic and maybe that's the problem here.


Maybe I should become an Monk
Vow of celibacy...
At least when i'm in my 40's, I'll be able to justify to people why i'm still alone.

Anyway thanks all for your words of help. Going to bred now. I sleep with my cat. :3

Half of the last thread was actually posts by Cat

Theres a difference between "would fuck" and "would like to fuck." In this case, you would like to fuck them, but you wouldnt because of a good friendship, which makes them lower on your "would fuck" ladder.

Or you're waiting for someone higher up on the ladder to come along.

Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven

*waves hand dismissively* The distinction you're making is more to do with the fact that they probably wouldn't fuck me. The only time sex makes things awkward/ruins things is if you don't know how to handle the aftermath and you let it ruin things.

sup guys

5/8 Singles Club v. Cat?

Perfect.

There is so much unbelievably hot tail in my university course that I don't know where to begin.

Fuck, I met a girl that was totally into me earlier tonight. Only problem: she's three years younger than me. But she's got nice boobs. COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

ION DISSONANCE

PARTY DISSONANCE
HARD DISSONANCE

Dude, three years is nothing. My first girlfriend was 23, which was 5 years younger than I was at the time.

PUFFIN ON HIS DISSONANCE

Yeah but I'm 17 and she's 14-15, it's pretty different from being in the twenties.

You're still underage, so it's ok, NinjaEater

For someone your age, I would say don't worry about it unless shes under... 12. Because the rule is "your age plus seven, divided by 2", right?

still alone, but happy